We live in an angry world, don’t we? Domestic violence, temper tantrums, divorce, lawsuits, even beer brawls. It doesn’t seem to matter what age we are, where we live, or how many blessings we have in life. The poor are ticked that they aren’t rich. The rich are angry that the poor are jealous. Everyone’s angry with the government, for some reason or another. Blacks get angry with whites, whites get angry with Latinos, parents get mad at children and teens can’t stand the rules at school.
When anger starts ruining people’s lives or tearing families apart, experts recommend anger management classes. I even found a firm in Australia that offers “road rage counseling.”
So what’s the answer? First, we have to realize that anger isn’t the problem. Selfishness is. I don’t know how the experts define “anger,” but here’s my attempt: Anger is aggressively asserting my belief that the world should revolve around me. Rage, to take things a step farther, is the violent assertion of that belief.
Whenever I see people getting angry, I can’t help but think about my definitions. It could be a husband getting angry with a wife, a parent lashing out at her kid, or some cranky-looking lady whose scowl is too close for comfort in my rear-view mirror.
“They aren’t moving fast enough.” “They cut me off.” “They violated my right to….” “I don’t have all day.” “This isn’t fair.” “How dare you treat me that way?” “I deserve better than this!”
Reminds me of kindergarten.
(Of course, some will protest that “righteous anger” is appropriate, the kind Jesus displayed. Granted. When your anger is completely controlled, helpful to the situation and utterly unselfish, go for it.)
The Bible has an answer for angry people: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV)
How can I be “slow” to anger?
1. Remember that life isn’t about you. God didn’t create the world as an exclusive “serve-you” club. There are billions of other souls on board this flight, and each of them is equally important to God. Wise people use their lives to help others, not to “aggressively assert their belief” in selfishness.
2. Consider the other person. Whatever their reason for doing things the way they do, perhaps it would be better to have a tinge of patience, or even a little compassion? Maybe that person has some serious issues, and God might want to use you to demonstrate His love to that individual? If you get angry, you blow your opportunity to make a positive difference.
3. Start with a choice to cease being an angry person. Even if you’re in the habit of being angry, you don’t have to let it happen ever again. Really. Just quit the sin of anger and re-allocate your passion toward good things. If someone says or does something “angering,” respond by saying to yourself, “It would take a whole lot more than this to actually get me angry. Now, in this situation, what can I do to help make it better?”
4. Realize that anger never solves a problem, it just makes it worse. The Bible says that anger is a “first-step” sin. It leads to other things. And that makes sense, if anger is really selfishness. When you start aggressively asserting your selfishness, you’ll begin to deceive yourself about what really matters in life. Soon, you’ll find that anger has taken you places you never wanted to go.
“And ‘don't sin by letting anger gain control over you.’ Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.” (Eph. 4:26-27, NLT)
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