Just cruising the web when you ought to be getting something done?
Yeah, me too. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone if you won't. Since you're here, you might as well take AbsoluteTruth.Net for a quick spin. From afar, it doesn't look quite so obvious as your fantasy football team scoreboard or one of those news site slideshows. Surfing AbsoluteTruth.Net might even pass for "serious research on important issues facing our (company, family, community, nation, universe)."
Were I in your shoes, looking for a quick-fix of Internet knowledge that might even be worthy of comment, or further surfing, here are three recommended areas of the site to surf:
1. Creation & Evolution. Get some biased spin on the facts that really amount to strong, faith-based opinions - or, close your science magazine and open this area of AbsoluteTruth.Net. OK, it's a mite biased as well, but at least you can say you've "thoughtfully approached both sides of the issue" next time water cooler discussion turns toward ape-men or planetary development.
2. Life's Purpose. If you had a clear sense of life's purpose, you wouldn't be watching the hours fly by surfing the net, would you? Well, maybe. I guess it depends on what time of day it is and how much you despise your job. At any rate, this section will likely challenge you to think differently about why you're here and what on earth you're doing.
3. Ten Commandments. Reviewing the moral basics of the divine law - why not? There are far less productive things you could be doing. See how you fare compared to the standards of perfection. (Interesting note, my parental control settings block this section of AbsoluteTruth from view, no doubt due to my commentary on Commandment #7. What is this world coming to?)
EMERGENCY ONLINE VIEWING HELP SECTIONS
If this is a real emergency, dial 911. If you've merely been caught surfing AbsoluteTruth.Net when you really were supposed to be doing something else, here are some ideas for redemption:
WIFE WALKS INTO THE ROOM, wondering if you're still paying the bills. Oops. Do a quick jump to AbsoluteTruth's "Money" category and immediately say, "Honey, this guy makes a good point about charitable giving. Maybe we should talk about it sometime." (I can't promise you that what you'll be viewing in that instant will indeed be a "good point", but it will be close enough.)
BOSS UNEXPECTEDLY WALKS IN. Uh-oh. Quick-click over to the "Wise-Decision Making" section and ask your boss his opinion on how we can make "the best" choices over "good" ones for the company. Then say, "This author suggests some processes to help evaluate the best options - and while he does it from a religious perspective, I wonder if these principles wouldn't transfer to our work here. They seem pretty basic." If the boss inquires further, close the window and offer to forward a link to the article for consideration, and use this one. Note, if your boss has a strong anti-Christian bias, this won't help. You may want to forget to send the link, or scour the net for something more secular to use.
ANTI-RELIGIOUS FRIEND ENTERS THE ROOM. Yikes! At least scroll down to hide the title image. Any site with a name like "Absolute Truth" is sure to land you in a discussion you'd rather avoid. Quick-click over to "Astrology" and scroll down a little. That allows you to then poke fun at religious people in general, noting that this site exposes some logical inconsistencies with astrology. You could then look up in scorn: "Some" inconsistencies? Ha. "I have no use for any of that. I'd rather stick with stuff I can back up with science, you know?"
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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: The use of the ideas above are only suggestions, and should be be considered to constitute legal, professional or financial advice of any kind. Users of these statements and tactics may still be subject to significant losses imposed by parties mentioned, either relational or otherwise. It is always a good idea to seek professional help if you take things like this literally.
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